


Requiem For...

by xtremeroswellian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode: s02e21 All Hell Breaks Loose, Gen, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xtremeroswellian/pseuds/xtremeroswellian
Summary: He’d been having the same dream every night for two weeks. And each time he had it, he woke afterwards with that gut feeling--that deep, instinctual knowledge--that it wasn’t just a dream.
Relationships: Sam Winchester & Dean Winchester
Kudos: 14





	Requiem For...

**Author's Note:**

> Song is, "Leave Out All the Rest" by Linkin Park.

I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared  
But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared

He’d been having the same dream every night for two weeks. And each time he had it, he woke afterwards with that gut feeling--that deep, instinctual knowledge--that it wasn’t just a dream.

But that was impossible because Sam Winchester was not a psychic. Psychics were born that way in most cases--they didn’t often develop psychic powers after twenty-two years of not having them. At least not unless that had some kind of traumatic, life-altering event that brought it on. Which he had not.

But he couldn’t shove the sick feeling away. Sweat would drench his forehead and hair at the image of his beautiful girlfriend, pinned to the ceiling and burning, mouth open in a silent scream.

He’d awaken and quickly turn over in bed, relaxing minimally only when he found her sleeping peacefully beside him, unaware of the nightmare visions that plagued his mind into the wee morning hours.

He’d wrap his arm around her, bury his face into her soft golden hair and reassure himself that he could keep her safe.

He *would* keep her safe.

More than once Sam had picked up the phone and dialed his brother’s cell phone number, only to hang up after Dean answered.

One time Dean called him right back. He’d even said Sam’s name, a quiet, hopeful sound.

Closing his eyes, Sam had hung up the phone without responding.

That chapter of his life was over. And there was no going back.

He didn’t want to go back.

* * *

After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving  
When I’m done here?

When Dean was dying--both times---Sam had never been more frightened, or more determined to save someone. The truth was--as horrible as it had been losing Jessica, the mere thought of losing his brother sent him into an uncontrollable tail spin.

Regardless of what terrible things that yellow eyed bastard possessing Dad had told Dean, he was wrong. Dean did keep their family together, always had. And yes, Sam did need him.

Dean had always been his hero--the one he looked up to and admired. He’d never felt that way about Dad. Because to him, Dean was Dad. And older brother. Caretaker and defender. Everything.

Dean was home.

* * *

So if you’re asking me  
I want you to know  
When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I’ve done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed

When the dreams started again, Sam knew, as he always knew, that it was a flash image of the future.

It would happen.

It wouldn’t happen the way he’d always imagined it, but it would be at the hands of a man who was another one of the YED’s victims.

He saw himself fall, saw Dean catch him. Over and over again. Only this time when he fell and Dean caught him, it would be the last time.

And don’t resent me  
And when you’re feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest

The week before Sam died, he insisted he and Dean go to the Grand Canyon. Dean had been naturally suspicious--that Sam had given into the one thing he’d fought so hard against for months.

Sam had smiled a little and shrugged. “Well, we don’t have anywhere else to be.”

Dean had eyed him uncertainly, as if trying to determine whether or not Sam was pulling a fast one on him. But in the end he agreed because he was Dean and he always gave into what Sam wanted. But Sam knew this was what Dean had wanted, too.

So they’d gone to the Grand Canyon. They’d even gotten a nice Polaroid camera and took pictures.

They’d spent four days there, taken the tour on horseback--a first for both of them that had gone surprisingly well. And for four days, there was no talk of demons, or evil spirits or psychic visions.

It was just two, normal brothers on a road trip.

Best friends.

* * *

Forgetting all the hurt inside  
You’ve learned to hide so well  
Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can’t be who you are

He knew walking into that diner that it would be the last time he’d willingly walk into anyplace. And he’d do it because there was no avoiding the inevitable. And if he didn’t do as fate commanded him to, Dean would die trying to save him.

And Sam wasn’t going to let that happen.

But his brother couldn’t know he knew that. Because Dean would never forgive him for that.

“Bring me some pie!” Dean called cheerfully as Sam drew in a breath and slowly headed toward the diner.

As Sam opened the door and stepped inside, he took one last look at his brother through the window. He’d be fine.

Dean was always fine.

“Goodbye,” Sam whispered inaudibly.

I can’t be who you are


End file.
